How To Get What You Want (Even if it’s not what you expect)

My ex-husband used to tease me about my “unrealistic” expectations. He would sing, with a nursery rhyme cadence, ‘Deborah’s world, Deborah’s world, there are no lines in Deborah’s world.” Or traffic jams, or sold out tickets, or uncrackable social networks, or barriers to employment. I would optimistically move ahead, heedless of the obstacles, the massive stone truth about “the way the world really works.” I didn’t know then, not consciously, that my very approach was opening the doors of possibility. That it wasn’t about wishful thinking, denial, or Pollyanna cheerfulness.

How do I know this? If I did find myself stuck in traffic, turned away at the door, getting no response, or any other “proof” that my world view was somehow flawed, I wasn’t particularly disappointed. In fact, I’d take it as a sign. I obviously wasn’t meant to get there, make that connection, have that experience or obtain that thing. How fortunate to have that clarified by reality!

Now all I needed was to adjust my current plan, find another joy in the moment, look for the lesson or sometimes, enjoy the small miracle that expecting the (seemingly) unlikely outcome that expecting what I really wants provides.

Simple formula: I expect to get what I want, then I want what I get. It’s fail-safe. Sometimes you get what you want and expect, but other times you can get what you want even when it’s not what you expect. Just ask yourself: What do I want to make of this moment? How is this an opportunity to transmute the unexpected into something valuable? THIS moment; the one you’re in. It’s all you’ve got, and it is ALWAYS plump and juicy and bursting with the seeds of anything.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to How To Get What You Want (Even if it’s not what you expect)

  1. Tara Dondas says:

    I like what you have to say here. As a person reinventing myself late in life it makes me feel hopeful.

    • Deborah says:

      Thanks Tara; I’m glad you feel that way. I think of hope as believing in the possibility that something can change. It’s a great fertilizer for personal growth!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *